I was bullied at school.
I do not talk about it much. But sitting across from Nadim Saad this week, I found myself going back there.
Nadim is a parenting coach, the founder of the Happy Confident Company, and someone who has spent over a decade trying to solve one of the most important problems of our time. How do we raise emotionally resilient, genuinely happy children in a world that seems designed to pull them away from both.
He has also done so much personal work, and yet two weeks before we recorded this he had a breakthrough about his own childhood that he had never had before.
His final words were simple.
And they are ones I think you need to hear.
Podcast Insights
Happiness is not the goal, it is the starting point.
Most of us spend our lives chasing happiness like it is somewhere ahead of us.
Nadim Saad thinks about it differently.
He believes happiness and confidence is our homeostasis. Our natural default state. You can see it in young children who go through crisis, pick themselves up, and come straight back to joy.
That is our original wiring.
The problem is we gradually lose it.
Our brains develop, our default mode network kicks in, and we start hearing the quiet voice that tells us we are not good enough, that we made a mistake, that we should be doing more. Society adds its layers. Social media adds more. And slowly we drift from the state we were born in.
Nadim has spent over a decade building tools to help children stay connected to that state. Or find their way back to it.
But the moment that changed everything for him was not in a classroom or a coaching session.
It was with his own daughter.
In that moment Nadim made a promise. He was going to create a program so that no child would ever have to feel that way without the tools to find their way back.
What he built, what he has learned, and the one piece of advice he has for every parent listening is something you need to hear from him directly.
In this episode you will discover:
Why happiness is actually our natural default state
What the doom loop is and how to break it
The one thing every parent should stop doing right now
How to raise emotionally resilient children in the age of AI
What let go of the story really means and why it matters
Simple practice
Ask What Instead Of Why
Nadim made a distinction this week that I have been thinking about ever since. When your child, or anyone you care about, is struggling, the instinct is to ask why. Why are you feeling this way. Why did this happen. But Nadim says why keeps people spinning, and it pulls them deeper into the loop.
Instead try this. The next time someone you love is struggling, resist the why. Ask what and how instead.
What is one small thing you could do about this?
How could you feel a little better right now?
Do the same for yourself too.
Why: Asking what and how builds agency. And agency is the foundation of genuine resilience.
Post of the week
The simplest tools are often the most powerful.
Here are 5 micro-habits to help you regulate…
The strongest trees break in the wind.
The flexible ones bend all the way down and come back to their centre.
That is what Nadim is trying to build in children. And honestly, it is what I am still trying to build in myself.
Stay flexible, stay rooted.
Julian x
This newsletter is brought to you by NADclinic. In a world that is constantly pulling us away from our best selves, NAD Clinic is focused on supporting your biology so you can keep showing up at your best. Find out more at nadclinic.com
